literature

I will admit

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Literature Text

I

will

admit

to waking before the sun rises and hiking into the hills, laying on my stomach in the dusty trail and sticking out my tongue to taste the early morning dew from the sweet grasses
to running and vaulting myself onto my bed at night in order to avoid the monsters under the bed-frame
to touching myself out of curiosity rather than in search of pleasure
to putting glitter in my bath
to running barefoot through mud of questionable origins without a thought
to eating strange things in strange combinations in strange places
to staying up reading and sleeping late
to chasing after birds and lizards
to believing in true love and mythical critters
to being an empath
to holding a grudge
to being afraid to dance
to singing in the shower
to giving in to distractions
to reading ahead
to putting on airs
to writing in books
to avoiding pain that needs to be faced
to playing the devil's advocate
to dyeing my hair because it makes me feel like a rainbow
to acting younger than I am
to not taking my ADD meds
to being terrified of crowds
to trying to fix everything
to having panic attacks that I don't tell people about
to hiding my weaknesses
to thwarting mother nature
to loosing my way
to crying
to sleeping when consciousness is too painful to bear
to looking away
to injuring myself in the most mundane tasks
to shaving nearly everywhere because the hair triggers my anxiety
to being a romantic asexual
to feeling sexy when 'I don't care who sees me, I'm having fun and that's that'
to drawing on myself like a little kid
to almost everything I've done
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